Q: What does one do when they can’t sleep?

A: Scrolling Substack at 2:30am.

Your early morning discovery: It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but the U.S. Department of State has extended its black propaganda operations.

They have discovered Substack. And they were welcomed.

Thus far, the difference between Substack and the Nazi Network, formerly known as “X”, formerly known as “Twitter”, is that Substack does not (yet), apply censorship.

Perhaps, given some welcome message by Substack users, “decorum” should be demanded. Then again…

Be that as it may, the U.S. Department of State has unleashed Samuel Samson to pen one of its first self-aggrandizing puff pieces.

I would do some of the world, and mostly my own sanity a disservice if I didn’t respond to their drivel. Especially as SamSam or by reduction, SS, which bears adequate resemblance to Germany’s Schutzstaffel of 1938, with full-throated conviction, writes about “Allies in Europe.”

As the “resident Austrian in America” Substack dweller, I have an opinion, merged with facts, of course, and a deep-seated disdain for anyone who salutes with their right arm up for everyone to see.

From the top:

“The close relationship between the United States and Europe transcends geographic proximity and transactional politics. It represents a unique bond forged in common culture, faith, familial ties, mutual assistance in times of strife, and above all, a shared Western civilizational heritage.”

SamSam’s opening is textbook romanticized sentimentalism masquerading as analysis. He attempts to create an idyllic “shared heritage” argument, perhaps with an underhanded call to “visualizing the good ol’ times”, without acknowledging that half of Europe spent most of the 20th century under fascism or communism. Where was our “civilizational bond” when Franco hanged dissidents in Spain, or Stalin’s starving of millions of Ukrainians?
Sam’s selective memory, infused with regime-compliant messaging, casually glosses over the countless wounds of colonialism, war, and authoritarianism. In his writing, Sam is setting up shop quite early, attempting to repackage the past as a fairy tale to justify the present-day degradation into monotheistic fascism, better summed up as “christofascism?

Additionally, he mentions Common culture, faith, familial ties, etc., across 27 EU states. Give me a break. This is textbook sweeping generalization, conflating significantly different cultures and cultural norms, the patchwork of different religions, and legal traditions (women’s rights, LGBTQ rights, employment law, etc.) under one star-spangled umbrella.

Sam applies the lens of the United States of Europe. That doesn’t exist. There is no such thing. The European Union, with all its faults and challenges, was (thankfully) never meant to act like the United States of America. The intent of the EU is to foster peace, prosperity, and cross-border collaboration, including all of its navigational challenges. Agreed, it’s far from perfect, but it’s better than greed capitalism, feudalism, worker-servitude, systemic racism, misogyny, anti-LGBTQ laws, anti-women’s rights, etc., as practiced in the USA. The USA, compared to European Union nations, is a country where social safety nets are a mirage, soon to be completely extinguished, courtesy of the “Big Beautiful Bill”.

“Our transatlantic partnership is underpinned by a rich Western tradition of natural law, virtue ethics, and national sovereignty. This tradition flows from Athens and Rome, through medieval Christianity, to English common law, and ultimately into America’s founding documents.”

Sam’s “genealogical snobbery”, attempting to trace ideas back to Aristotle and Aquinas suggests a straight line from Ancient Greece to modern geopolitical theater. He casually ignores centuries of intellectual detours, revolutions, heresies, and inquisitions, and power plays that became the fodder for Hollywood pictures, or sleazy “Romanesque Entertainment” on Netflix. Claiming national sovereignty as derived from medieval theologies glosses over the fact that medieval rulers trumpeted divine right as much as democratic rights. They’d hang you for heresy faster than you could recite Thomas Aquinas.
Where’s the nod to the Magna Carta’s debt to Anglo-Saxon law? Or the Ottoman millet system’s influence on minority rights? SS’s rhetoric is Western exceptionalism shrouded in a toga of ignorance.

“The Declaration’s revolutionary assertion that men ‘are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights’ echoes the thought of Aristotle, Thomas Aquinas, and other European heavyweights…”

“Men are endowed by their creator…” casually omitting that women have rights. I suppose, given current developments, that tracks. Moreover, Aristotle never believed in “unalienable rights”, that was 18th-century Enlightenment code, just a smidgen after the fabled philosopher walked the earth. Although Aquinas wrote about “natural law,” he didn’t carve out individual rights equal before the state. He cemented the Church’s supremacy over heretics.
Sam, once again, omits the various juxtapositions and iterative structures of Europe, cherry-picking that which fits his narrative. Rhetorically, the deliberate integration of historically recognizable figures is nothing but an appeal to authority: drop a few heavyweight names and expect awe, even though their actual doctrines clash violently with the notion of individual liberties against state power.

“America remains indebted to Europe for this intellectual and cultural legacy.”

“Indebted”? Perhaps, but not in the way Sam attempts to propagandize history. Then again, it does make sense, especially when we consider the whitewashing of public education. The reality is that “We, The People”, cherry-picked philosophies that suited the “construction” of the “United States”, courtesy of misfits, criminals, rapists, and immigrants driven by fear, the desire for opportunity, and the lust for moral decrepitude to steal lands and murder the native population. Of course, as time evaporated, we advanced to become the global super bully, asserting our dominance, promptly getting to work on suppressing Europe’s global market share over the past 100 years. This is hardly a posture of gratitude or collaboration, but more so the standards of a nation that’s grown too arrogantly self-absorbed, drowning in its ego and delusional but mighty exceptionalism. Capitalism, the American way, means that there can only be one winner, and everyone else needs to lose. Collaboration is an American non-sequitur. IF the regime felt indeed indebted to Europe, its actions would be supportive. Instead, it’s a (global) trade war, with a side dish of threats to reduce their involvement or withdraw from NATO altogether.

“This connection between Europe and the United States is also the reason we speak honestly when we disagree or have concerns—and is why the Trump Administration is sounding the alarm in Europe.”

The “Trump Administration” is behaving as dictators did in the past. Heavily supported by the Heritage Foundation, one could argue that they are the brains behind the operation, the alarm bell pertains to the United States, and its rapid descent into monotheistic fascism. Truth has no standing here. The very direction “Trump” rings the alarm bell for, which does not collectively exist across Europe, is present in the United States. However, as Goebbels laid the groundwork: (paraphrased) “Tell a lie. Make it Big. Repeat it Often. People will Believe it.”
Moreover, claiming candid disagreement as proof of partnership conveniently ignores the fact that the US routinely deploys sanctions, visa bans, (Muslim) travel bans, and threats to punish “allies” without deliberation, consideration of consequences, or acknowledgement of regional and global impacts. “Honesty” here reads as: “We’ll browbeat you with our shiny democracy while hiding our illiberal impulses.”

JD Vance at this year’s Munich Security Conference: “What I worry about is the threat from within, the retreat of Europe from some of its most fundamental values—values shared with the United States of America.”

“Retreat from fundamental values” is so vague it could mean anything from Sweden’s child-care policy to Hungary’s state media crackdown. It’s a dog whistle: “Europeans aren’t sufficiently patriotic, thus, help us civilize them, so we can force blind loyalty to the United States.” If anything, as an Austrian-American, the mostly isolated European threat from within pales in comparison to the threat from within the United States.

In the 1838 Lyceum Address, Lincoln’s speech was a bit distorted, but resulted in the following, widely circulated quote:

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Honestly, SamSam’s propaganda is tiring. Therefore, we rapid fire:

1. Digital Censorship? Freedom House’s Freedom on the Net 2024 finds that eight out of ten EU countries remain free online, with only pockets of concern in Serbia and Turkey. Portraying Europe as a “hotbed” is a grotesque exaggeration. Although Europe has declined, they are still the bastion of freedom.

2. Mass Migration: Labeling migration “assaults on democratic self‐governance” erases the fact that EU states have absorbed over 5 million refugees since 2015, often under duress. Also, failing to mention UNHCR appeals or Germany’s integration programs is propaganda by omission. In fact, millions of displaced individuals, looking for safety and opportunity, are in perilous positions because of the interventions, from sanctions to meddling to war, courtesy of the United States.

3. Religious Restrictions? Europe’s strict separation of Church and State (e.g., France’s laïcité) is not a “restriction” in the authoritarian sense, but a political choice to uphold secularism. Thus, it is a functional separation: Church for believers, but government for all. Certainly, this is 100% contradictory to the MAGA state, where numerous representatives, from MTG to Boebert, and Trump himself, want “more church and less government”. The restriction Sam is talking about is that the church IS restricted from governing, and they (MAGA) really do not like that.

4. Democratic Backsliding? True, but who is actually backsliding, and how are these countries perceived and welcomed in the USA? The slide into authoritarianism in Hungary is real. However, Trump also has Orban on speed dial. Certainly, that’s not what Sam’s talking about here. He merely cherry-picks Hungary to paint all of Europe as backsliding into authoritarianism. If that’s the case, Trump would be buddying up with all European leaders. They’d be his role models. Casually, Sam ignores German or French protests, EU legal actions, and, for instance, the German decree that the AfD is a right-wing extremist party. Perhaps, again, the regime is setting up the “look, there” situation, accusing others of that which we are becoming.

Bottom Line: The U.S. Department of State Substack published propaganda junk food. Spiked American high-fructose heritage porn laced with fabricated quotes, hand-picked scenarios, and text book examples of various fallacies. It’s perpetual lies, repeated often, so that propaganda masquerades as romanticized guidance. Goebbels would be proud.

Anyone with half a brain and basic Google skills can dismantle Sam’s pitch in minutes. Yet, here we are, wading through government-sponsored drivel. Realistically, that’s where DOGE should have cut funding: defund the Propaganda Office of the State Department, rather than USAID, NASA, the VA, etc.

Lastly, Sam Sam, if you’re going to lecture Europe and Europeans, get your story straight, apply for a passport, and visit the countries you claim are sliding into authoritarianism. Unless, of course, you want to decry the correct labeling of the AfD or Marine LePen as right-wing extremists, then..well..please go fuck yourself.

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~Z.